Randy Newman - Putin

Putin puttin' his pants on
One leg at a time
Mean he's just like a regular fella, huh?
He ain't nothin' like a regular fella!
Putin puttin' his hat on
Hat size number nine
You sayin' Putin's gettin' big-headed?
Putin's head's just fine!

He can drive his giant tractor
Across the Trans-Siberian plain!
He can power a nuclear reactor
With the left side of his brain!
And when he take his shirt off
He drive the ladies crazy!
And when he take his shirt off
Make me wanna be a lady!
It's the Putin Girls!

Putin, if you put it, would you put it where you put it?
Putin, if you put it, would you put it next to me?
Putin, if you put it, would you put it, where you put it?
Putin, if you put it, would you put it next to me?

Now, Putin hates the Putin Girls, cause he hates vulgarity, and he loves his mother country, and he loves his family. He and his ex-wife, Lyudmila, live right along the shore of the beautiful new Russian Black Sea. Let's listen in, a great man is speaking:

We fought a war for this?
I'm almost ashamed
The Mediterranean
Now there's a resort worth fighting for!

If only the Greeks or the Turks
Would start to sniff around
Oh, I'd bring the hammer down
So quick their woolly heads would spin!

Woolly head, woolly head, woolly head

Oh, wait a minute, even better!
What if the Kurds got in the way?
Hey, Kurds and way, Kurds and way!

Sometimes a people is greater than their leader:
Germany, Kentucky, and France
Sometimes a leader towers over his country:
One shot at glory, they won't get a second chance

I'll drag these peasants kicking and screaming
Into the 21st century
I thought we'd make it, I must've been dreaming
These chicken farmers and fire clerks gonna be the death of me

I can't do it
Sure you can!
I can't do it!
Yeah you can!
What makes you say that, girls?
I'll tell you why:
Cause you're the Putin Man!

Who whipped Napoleon?
We did!
Who won World War II?
The Americans!
That's a good one, ladies
It's our turn to sit in the comfy chair!
And you're the man gonna get us there!
I don't know, Lenin couldn't do it!
I don't know, Stalin couldn't do it!
Now they couldn't do it, why do you think I can?
You're gonna lead our people to the Promised Land!
Oh, you're right!
Cause goddamn, I'm the Putin Man!

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